Day’s go bye (Enjoy). March 31 – April 7, 2013 has come and gone. So here’s a recap of the week’s top stories in case you missed them.
SNL: Melissa McCarthy
Saturday Night Live this week was just fantastic. I heart me some Melissa McCarthy. When she hosts (this is round 2), she is not just a host; she’s a polished, experienced, true-blue sketch performer, that makes everyone around her better.
Not too often with an SNL crowd do you get people actually saying “Awww” because they feel bad for a character (in a good way). But when straight-man Jason Sudeikis’ loan officer turned down McCarthy’s pizza-eating business, that’s exactly what we got.
Other bright spots: Everyone in The Voice sketch, Bobby Moynihan’s Drunk Uncle and Vanessa Bayer’s Jewish boy Jacob visiting the Weekend Update desk, and obviously the Ham dance executed to perfection. Also, I love that all of Melissa McCarthy’s characters always remind me of one of my aunts.
Evil Dead Is Back
The Evil Dead remake opened at #1 at the box office this weekend bringing in 26 million dollars, while the documentaries about America’s financial crisis and Serbian genocide have both been blocked from Netflix due to no one watching.
Ray J Sucks
Brandy’s little brother Ray J has officially released a song, chest-puffing himself for his sexual escapades with Kim Kardashian. The beautifully titled “I Hit It First” has the following lyrics: She might move on to rappers and ballplayers. But we all know I hit it first.
- For those of you that hate Ray J, remember when he cried in that episode of Punk’d?
- For those of you that like Ray J, all I can think of that is positive is that he was on “The Sinbad Show”….(look at him trying to sneak one on us with this Willie Norwood bullweed).
Halle Berry With Child
In entertainment news, Halle Berry is 46 years old and pregnant! That’s right, Swordfish’s and Cleveland’s own Halle Berry is pregnant with
Billy Bob Thorton’s, Anthony Fanelli’s, Oliver Martinez’ child, giving hope to aging women worldwide (Liz Lemon style). I mean if a beautiful, rich and healthy woman with unlimited resources and no stress can get pregnant, so can you!
Trailer Report: This is the End
Remember when you and your buddies took a camera and just made a movie because you were all friends and thought it’d be cool to make a movie together? Well that’s basically what this is, except instead of starring a bunch of hillbilly friends in their mom’s basement (I did that numerous times), it stars a bunch of rich, talented YoHo (young Hollywood) bros making a comedy about the end of the world. FYI, I will be seeing this opening night because I like everyone in it and thoroughly laughed throughout the trailer.
Rutger’s Coach Abusing Players
Rutger’s Basketball Coach Mike Rice was fired after a video surfaced of him throwing basketballs at players, literally kicking them in the butts and hurling homophobic slurs.
I was going to try to write something clever, but SNL and Melissa McCarthy’s amazing short parodying this, kind of makes it hard. But let’s try it anyway! Hey (taps microphone), after hearing of this Mike Rice thing, Amanda Bynes has taken the opportunity to cleverly hit on guys by telling them she wants to bring them back to her place so she can Mike Rice all over their face!
MLB Opening Day
Opening Day in Major League Baseball has come and gone! 30 teams, playing 15 games over the course of 2 days, creating nostalgia for those old and young. 15 games down, only 2,415 to go before playoffs!
NCAA Final Four
After some hyped up drama, #1 seed Louisville and their pocket-squared coach Rick Pitino survived the shock of possibly losing to the 9 seed Witchita State Shockers, by coming back from a 9 point deficit and holding on for a 72-68 victory.
The team was given a much-needed emotional boost after sophomore guard Kevin Ware suffered the worst leg break since Chong Li unnecessarily snapped that guy’s shin bone in Bloodsport.
In the other game of the Final Four, the Syracuse Orange (easily the laziest nickname/color combination in collegiate athletics) was outdone by the NBA infused bloodline of the Michigan Wolverines, 61-56.
The tip-off for the National Championship game of Louisville vs. Michigan, starts at the very normal time of 9:23pm EST, Monday April 8, 2013.
Mondays, got a classic case of em’ right now,